28 June 2015
I proposed to Kathy only 3 months after she noticed me on the UC Irvine campus. Four days after the proposal she said “Yes!” And we were married 6 months later. We married on a Rainy and Sunny day in Irvine, CA 35 years ago. Kathy wore a wedding dress which she made (with her mother’s help). The material cost $100 and required no bridal shop visits. Our wedding rings were matching silver bands with a sculpted Cross and Dove.
Our wedding ceremony featured songs written and sung by friends. We had a candle ceremony where the Unity candle refused to light. So Kathy smashed her lit candle into the melted wax of unity and completed the task. Our ushers were David Nelson, Steve Williams, and Mike Born. The best man was my close friend Dennis Arce and Kathy’s sister, Dana Born, was maid of honor. My best friend, Mark Maki, officiated the ceremony. Mark was careful to tell us 4 things to always remember to keep our marriage and relationship well-tuned. Unfortunately, we were so overwhelmed with emotion that we immediately forgot what those 4 things were 🙂
130 close friends and family joined the celebration which offered a potluck reception in UC Irvine Housing Community Center. Several cases of beer were purchased by Kathy’s grandmother and Kathy’s Uncle Rich carried her across the reception threshold on my behalf. The wedding cake we order proved the worst tasting wedding cake but served the occasion as Kathy considered smashing a piece in my mouth as we exchanged bites.
We said goodbye to our guests as they drove away. We had to stay behind because I forgot to arrange for someone to clean up the hall (and I needed my deposit back). So after pushing the broom around and throwing out the trash we left for our honeymoon.
We drove off in a borrowed Dodge Challenger because we did not own a car. Our honeymoon included days in Dana Point, days in Big Bear, a trip to Utah and Idaho (where we slept on a basement floor), a small town 4th of July celebration, and a trip to Texas. Before getting our first apartment we slept in Kathy’s parents’ garage (No! It was not a converted garage. It was a real garage.) Kathy figured if she could survive the honeymoon that marriage would be easy-smeasy.
By today’s standards we did everything wrong. Our ducks were flying free and they were not in a row. We had no jobs (we quit our jobs to get married and go on a honeymoon). We had no place to live. We had no car. We had no money. But we did have something those things can never really provide. We had a steadfast commitment and love for each other. Thank you Kathy for the best 35 years of my life.